Dog's tasty treats from cat box

Dear Dusty,

My dog insists on eating "treats" from the cat's litter box. How can I convince him that not all ass material is to meant for digestion?

Signed,

Pooped in Peoria


Dear Pooped in Peoria today you were answered by Yore ASS

Your dog is very wise. Everything given by an ASS should be taken inside and digested.
You focus on your dogs choice of treat and it disgusts you. This wise ASS will tell you that it would not be a treat if it was acceptable to all and good for you and healthy. Does your dog judge you for those little white line powder 'treats' you have in a morning to help you through the day? No of course not. If this really is intolerable to you I suggest you might like to try cleaning out the litter tray.
with much effort
Yore

Strickly Speaking

Dear Dusty

Strictly speaking, what is the difference between an ass, a butt, a duff, a can, a kiester, and a rear?
Signed
I'm too lazy to write my name (we know who you are anyway)

Dear I'm too lazy to write my name you were answered by Chaque ASS

Strictly speaking? They are all different words and consequently they are all spelt differently.
Being the smart ASS that I am I know what question you really wanted to ask and the answer is yes, completely alone, in 17 years while ironing your underwear.

Cheating boyfriend

Dear Dusty;

I think my boyfriend is cheating on me.. but with his "best friend" ... last Saturday when they were supposed to be bowling they were spotted dancing together. A "good friend" told me she saw them leave the disco and buy a ham and cheese quiche at a cafe..... do I confront him?

Signed,
Lonely Llama in L-toona

Dear Lonely Llama you were answered by Knodagyn ASS

Oh dear you really are missing the point here aren't you? You really shouldn't need an ASS to tell you this is all about the quiche. If your boyfriend was getting quiche at home he wouldn't be paying cafe prices. I notice you say he had ham and cheese quiche? sometimes it takes a "best friend" to know that you don't like spinach or mushroom quiche and have been pretending you enjoy it all along.
We ASSES know what is going to happen, we are all seeing, all knowing. So yes you will confront him and may I suggest you don't do it in the kitchen and keep your hands in your pockets at all times.
your superior being
Knodagyn