Dear Dusty,
I was thinking of building a web site (I just found the interwebs), but there are already so many websites out there, I'm afraid I am too late to this party.
Will I be using too much interweb space with my soon to be crappy web site and will I always be trying to catch up with all the people who started working their asses off long before I found the interwebs?
Signed,
n00b b00b
Dear nOOb bOOb today you were answered by Hitchi ASS
You have already taken up too much space on the interwebs by asking your question. You have too much of a negative, controlling personality to be successful as an internet entrepreneur. Let's just say you were never in fact, invited to the party.
Gatecrasher is what you are.
Listen to the advice of those around you. Have faith in what they say.
We do have more messages for you. Beware the female farmer she will be coming for you. Very,very soon. We advise you stay out of the Pole Barn and your genital growth will never improve.
Trust is the key!
Hitchi
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Monday, June 2, 2008
My Husband thinks he has a stalker
Dear Dusty,
I'm worried about my husband. For the past month or so, every time I mention "going to the store" he freaks out and begs me to not to leave him home alone. He's afraid some ho'billy skank will come over and try to give him her hoochie cooties. He gets violently ill when he thinks about it, because he's sure she has to look like the landlady in that movie "Kingpin." *shudder* *gag* Poor man. He wants to know "why can't stalkers be hot?"
Concerned,
Carl's wife
Dear Carl's wife today you were answered by Kixx ASS
One of the keys to understanding this Universe, in fact any Universe, is being aware everything is a delicate balance.
When a man has a stalker they have to be unattractive and perceived by the man to look like the landlady from "kingpin" so that men do not fall for their wiles and have affairs. It takes the burden off the man's shoulders and removes temptation. Their names always end with a "eeee" or "eeen" sound. They are pretty harmless unless the man tempts them with smilies.
However, when women have stalkers they are always attractive. This is so that the woman has someone to fantasise about while having sex with her husband. Again avoiding her going outside the marriage for an affair. This also takes the burden off the man's shoulders.
Carl's wife, you and I both know that the reason Carl gets violently ill and incredibly upset when you go to the store has nothing to do with his stalker. Although you have convinced him as much. The true reason is the do-nut you give him before you leave for the store is powdered by you with Arsenic. I should warn you that Arsenic is detectable in the bloodstream.
We like you Carl's wife and we know how frustrated you are at Carl's constant exposing of his script in public. Dusty will send you an email with our recommended course of action.
Your plight has touched many ASSES
unpoisoned respect
Kixx
I'm worried about my husband. For the past month or so, every time I mention "going to the store" he freaks out and begs me to not to leave him home alone. He's afraid some ho'billy skank will come over and try to give him her hoochie cooties. He gets violently ill when he thinks about it, because he's sure she has to look like the landlady in that movie "Kingpin." *shudder* *gag* Poor man. He wants to know "why can't stalkers be hot?"
Concerned,
Carl's wife
Dear Carl's wife today you were answered by Kixx ASS
One of the keys to understanding this Universe, in fact any Universe, is being aware everything is a delicate balance.
When a man has a stalker they have to be unattractive and perceived by the man to look like the landlady from "kingpin" so that men do not fall for their wiles and have affairs. It takes the burden off the man's shoulders and removes temptation. Their names always end with a "eeee" or "eeen" sound. They are pretty harmless unless the man tempts them with smilies.
However, when women have stalkers they are always attractive. This is so that the woman has someone to fantasise about while having sex with her husband. Again avoiding her going outside the marriage for an affair. This also takes the burden off the man's shoulders.
Carl's wife, you and I both know that the reason Carl gets violently ill and incredibly upset when you go to the store has nothing to do with his stalker. Although you have convinced him as much. The true reason is the do-nut you give him before you leave for the store is powdered by you with Arsenic. I should warn you that Arsenic is detectable in the bloodstream.
We like you Carl's wife and we know how frustrated you are at Carl's constant exposing of his script in public. Dusty will send you an email with our recommended course of action.
Your plight has touched many ASSES
unpoisoned respect
Kixx
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
